For many men, finding the female g-spot feels like setting out on a journey to uncover the lost city of Atlantis. It may seem like a thing of mystery, but once it’s discovered, it’s definitely worth the hard work. Yet even masters of the female g-spot may not know that men have a special spot all their own — and learning where it is and how to use it could lead to some serious mind-blowing sex.
Although we can’t exactly draw you a map, we can tell you that the male g-spot is actually the prostate. It’s a gland about the size of a walnut, and it’s located right under a guy’s bladder. Obviously it’d take more than a free sample of lube to go poking around inside a man’s organs, but don’t worry — you don’t need any special equipment to stimulate your guy’s g-spot. Much like the female g-spot, the male g-spot is about two inches in, and toward the belly. You can also stimulate the male g-spot indirectly from outside the body, by stroking the perineum.
While for many couples, learning how to stimulate the prostate is breaking all new sexual ground, there are some pretty compelling reasons to leave your comfort zone and get frisky with his g-spot.
If you’re a woman who has ever had a g-spot orgasm, think about the first time it happened: how different it felt from any orgasm you’d had before, how intense and even surprising it was. The male g-spot is woefully ignored in so many men, so the first time you go for his prostate, it may be an incredible first-time experience for him.
Let’s face it: sometimes the greatest pleasures are the ones we deny ourselves, and the male g-spot is the forbidden fruit of a man’s erogenous zones. If your man hasn’t explored that part of his own anatomy — maybe he’s used to being on top — it might be taboo and a bit freaky. And that’s what makes it so hot!
Erectile dysfunction is a source of emotional distress for many men, and the causes are myriad. Anything from cigarette smoking, to high blood pressure, to plain old everyday garden variety stress can keep a man from getting an erection. And of course, once you get stressed about not getting hard, that stress keeps feeding into itself, making erection more and more difficult. Any woman who has had to deal with vaginal dryness can probably relate!
Unfortunately, while an aroused woman with vaginal dryness can still get it on with the help of a personal lubricant, it’s not so easy to help a man get hard (unless he’s willing to take prescription medicine and risk a four-hour erection). That’s where stimulating the male g-spot comes in. If you’re both in the mood but he has some performance anxiety, try massaging his prostate. You might find that the sexual arousal from the g-spot love helps him to relax and get an erection.
Learning how to stimulate the male g-spot can be an intensely empowering experience, whether you’re male or female. You and he might enjoy it so much that you incorporate it into other aspects of your sex play.
Consider talking about tying him up in compromising positions, and working g-spot attention into your dominance play (and remember: always use caution when engaging in restraint play, so as not to physically or emotionally injure your partner). If your partner finds that g-spot play is one of his new favorite things, you can consider working your way up to using toys created especially for stimulating the male g-spot.
Who doesn’t want to be a sexual god or goddess? If you’re the kind of man-loving person who loves learning new things in bed and always sharpening your game, then learning how to find the male g-spot should be one of your top priorities. Will all of your partners want that kind of attention? Maybe not, but it’s always handy to have those skills ready any time you want to ramp your sex life up a notch.
Some guys aren’t even aware of this special spot themselves, so giving a guy’s g-spot some love could not only drive him wild, it could also score you some major points in bed. Of course, like any erogenous zone, there are plenty of ways to have fun with the male g-spot. There are two basic methods you can use: stimulating the g-spot from outside of his body (great for beginners and couples who are squeamish about butt stuff), and stimulating it from inside (a more direct and intense way to reach a man’s g-spot).
The easiest way to stimulate the male g-spot is to press gently on the skin between his balls and anus, known as the perineum (or, more commonly, the taint). Massaging this area during sex or applying rhythmic pressure with your fingers will add to his pleasure. Give this spot extra attention right before he climaxes, and you’ll add some serious intensity to his orgasm.
For even better access to the male g-spot, you can insert a finger or toy into his anus. This is a bit more of an advanced technique than ticking his taint, so it’s important to take precautions and ensure you don’t hurt him. To give him an internal orgasm that will leave him begging for more, make sure to follow these steps:
It should go without saying that you don’t want to just stick a finger in there without asking. It’s very common for men, especially straight men, to have hangups about the butt, so make sure you discuss the idea of male g-spot stimulation before you experiment. Set up some ground rules and talk through any worries insecurities he might have.
For the love of all things sexy, please do not forget this step. Just as nobody wants long or ragged-edged nails scraping the inside of their vagina, it’s important to keep your nails as short as possible and filed to smooth edges before attempting to explore your man’s g-spot. Any cuts inside could get infected, and that’s just about the opposite of how you want your sexy date night to go.
Long story short, it’s important that he be clean, and that you be clean. Another issue with long nails is that the e-coli bacteria that often hang around the anus and rectum could get trapped under your nails. Before beginning any g-spot play, you might want to get things steamy with a sexy couple’s shower. If you’re concerned with bacteria, you can use a condom, latex (or hypoallergenic) gloves or a finger cot to stimulate the male g-spot safely.
And take note: if he has any physical issues down there, like hemorrhoids or broken skin, it’s best to postpone finding the male g-spot until he heals up. As with all sex matters, when in doubt, leave it out.
This is a really good time to start by massaging his perineum, indirectly stimulating your man’s g-spot. Remember, you want him (and you!) to be aroused before you go in. This is sex, not a prostate exam.
Unlike the vagina, the anus is not a self-lubricating organ. Make sure you grab a bottle of your favorite personal lubricant and use it liberally.
Apply some gentle pressure to the outside of his anus and circle it with your finger. Once he seems receptive to entry, gently move your finger in (if this is the first time, it helps to give him a verbal cue so he’s ready for the new sensation).
Gently feel for the walnut-shaped bump with the soft pad of your finger. Remember: just a couple inches in, and shaped like a walnut. Listen for cues from your partner that you’ve found that special spot. Once you’ve found it, that’s where the fun really ramps up.
Again, as with the female g-spot, not everyone likes the same kind of stimulation! Make sure you have all lines of communication open as you experiment with different kinds of pressure and touch. It may help to start with a light pressure, and ask him to tell you to stop when the pressure feels perfect (or gets too intense).
Try rubbing the g-spot up and down, in small circles, in come-hither movements or with a more constant, static pressure. You may find that he enjoys a very particular form of male g-spot stimulation, or that he likes a variety of touch.
Once you’ve mastered how to stimulate the g-spot, you may want to add oomph to your prostate massage by using the other hand to stroke his penis, balls, perineum, inner thigh and other erogenous zones (learn some new hand job techniques here). Many men find that the orgasms they experience from stimulation both to the penis and the male g-spot are absolutely explosive.
Now that you know how to find the male g-spot and how to stimulate the male g-spot, you’re ready to take your bedroom game to levels you never experienced. Just remember not to let your ego get too big when your partner reports the most incredible orgasms of his life. Or, if prostate massage isn’t his thing, you’ve just learned more valuable information about his body, and that almost always leads to better sex for both of you.
Images are for illustrative purposes only.