Ladies, libido means sexual desire. Women having decreased libido is one of the most common complaints I hear in the office, especially for those stressed out supermoms. Trust me – you’re not alone, ladies. It is estimated that more than 40% of women experience some sort of sexual dysfunction in their lifetime. Here's why, and what you can do about it.
Female sexual dysfunction can include problems with desire, arousal, achieving orgasm and sexual pain that causes significant distress in your life. More specifically, decreased libido is when you don’t want to engage in any type of sexual activity, including masturbation, and you don’t want to have any sexual thoughts or fantasies.
Sound like someone you know? Let’s review some reasons why you may not want to have sex with your significant other:
When you are angry or hurt, sex is the last thing on your mind. Fix your relationship -- go to couples’ therapy.
It doesn’t matter if you’re stressed out from financial problems, from trying to get pregnant, or from worrying about your job – it all negatively impacts your libido. Stress can also lead to you being fatigued, which worsens the problem.
Meanwhile, if you're trying to conceive, stress can impact your fertility. Find ways to chill out, ladies – I meditate daily to deal with stress, and that might work for you, too.
While alcohol in moderation is okay, when you binge drink, sexual dysfunction starts to occur. On the other hand, any kind of smoking is bad – just quit!
Easier said than done, right? You have to know why you are smoking. Substitute that why with something else. For example, if you smoke because you are bored, instead of lighting up go to the gym.
Talk to your doctor and get treated. Sometimes medications used to treat these conditions can also cause a drop in libido – but not every medication does, so talk to your doctor.
This is because testosterone is one of the hormones that makes you horny.
Other medications such as antidepressants, anti-seizure meds, opioids, medical marijuana, antihistamines, and hypertensive medications can also decrease your sexual desire. Talk to your doctor about switching your medications if you think any are giving you a problem. Your healthcare provider can also potentially switch you to a non-hormonal birth control option, like the Paragard IUD.
Women who were raped or have been victims of domestic violence may, understandably, have issues here. Going to therapy to work through your pain can help.
Not thinking you are sexy enough can cause your sex drive to plummet.
If you don’t like something about yourself, change it – in a healthy way, of course. Eat clean, drink water and exercise – though, keep in mind that a lot of times this is something that you have to work out in therapy.
Medical illnesses such as diabetes, hypertension, thyroid disease, congestive heart failure, or cancer can all affect libido. They can alter hormones that have an impact on your sex drive. Proper treatment of the underlying disease can often improve libido.
Being pregnant can cause you to be tired and not feel sexy, which certainly doesn’t help your libido!
Do your best to focus on intimacy with your partner -- also, when you have the baby, get help. Let those grandparents help out with babysitting! Learn how to make time for sex as a new parent.
Low estrogen causes, among other things, a dry vagina, which makes sex painful. This can lead to decreased sexual desire.
Arthritis in the aging population can make having sex less fun. When vaginal dryness makes sex uncomfortable, use lubricants (try a free sample of ASTROGLIDE Liquid or ASTROGLIDE Gel, which temporarily relieve dryness during intercourse). Some women find using vaginal estrogen also helps.
While some people simply have lower libidos than others, a sudden drop in your sex drive is a sign that you should see your doctor.
What worked best for you? Let us know on Twitter, @ASTROGLIDE!
Images are for illustrative purposes only.