The female orgasm is a mysterious thing. While the male anatomy is pretty straightforward, the female anatomy is quite a bit more complicated. In general, women take longer to get aroused and have more trouble reaching climax than their male counterparts. As a result, many women with male partners can feel like they are constantly losing the race to the orgasm finish line. Here’s what you can do to level the playing field and orgasm faster:
For most women, reaching a state of full arousal can take 45 minutes. However, most couples only spend about 10 minutes of foreplay. It’s no wonder then that the female orgasm can be so elusive. Luckily the solution is relatively simple: more foreplay.
If the average 10 minutes of foreplay isn’t enough, take 20. If 20 isn’t enough, take 30. The longer you and your partner spend on foreplay, the more aroused you will be and the easier it will be to climax. If your partner has an easier time getting aroused then the focus of the foreplay should be more on you. The goal is for both of you to be fully aroused by the time you initiate sex so that you both enjoy yourselves as much as possible.
We’re not talking about extra people (unless you and your partner are into that, then by all means). There are lots of different ways for you and your partner to get a little extra help where you need it. To speed up your orgasm, have your partner rub your clitoris with his fingers while you have sex or take matters into your own hands and do it yourself. You can also use a small vibrator if your prefer. A female orgasm can be difficult to achieve from penetration alone, so don’t be shy about getting the stimulation you need where you need it and when you need it.
For lots of women, the stimulation they crave can actually feel pretty uncomfortable without the right amount of lubrication. That’s why the trick to the female orgasm is often making sure that you use enough lube to ensure that sex for her feels comfortable and pleasurable. If you don’t have any on hand, we can send you a free sample and a coupon for $1.00 off of a full-size bottle to get you started.
Unfortunately, we live in a culture where the female orgasm is seen as secondary to the man’s. While it can make things easier for straight couples if the woman reaches her climax before the man, it is in no way a requirement. So if you’ve tried all of our steps and reaching orgasm before your partner feels like a race you’re always going to lose, don’t -- we repeat, DO NOT -- allow that to be a barrier to you getting the maximum enjoyment out of sex with your partner. You absolutely deserve to get as much pleasure from the experience as he does, so refuse to settle for less.
Sit down with your partner and have a conversation about your concerns. Let him know that while you love having sex with him, it’s unrealistic to expect that you will always orgasm before he does. Make it clear that reaching your climax is just as important to you as it is to him. If he doesn’t want you to put an end to sex the second that you have an orgasm, then he shouldn’t do the same to you. Sex is about both of your pleasure and you should absolutely insist on getting yours.
So what do you think about our tips for speeding up the female orgasm? Are there any that you think we should add? Tweet us @ASTROGLIDE and tell us what you think.
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