From reality stars to political figures, it seems like a week doesn’t go by without someone making headlines with the leak of a new sex tape -- and celebrities aren’t the only ones filming their sexual encounters. The prevalence of high-quality camera phones and low-cost video cameras means that more couples than ever are taking the plunge and making a sex tape of their own.
Maybe you’ve thought about it or maybe your partner has been hinting around. It sounds like fun and you’re definitely down to spice things up, but you have some concerns.
What if your private moment is made public? What if you hate the video? What if you look weird and it feels awkward? You’ve got some moves, but you’re not a porn star, after all. Can a regular person really make a sex tape that’s worth watching, even if it’s just to share with your partner?
If you want to make sure that your experience is sexy and fun for both you and your partner, check out these 7 tips:
Before you start talking about the particulars of sex positions and mood lighting, you and your partner need to have a serious conversation to set some ground rules. There are lots of things to consider before making a sex tape and getting on the same page with your partner will ensure that the experience is enjoyable for both of you.
There are some basic things that you should talk about. What are you hoping to get out of making a sex tape? Is this sex tape for your own private enjoyment or is this something that you would be open to sharing with others? Who will be in control of the sex tape when it’s finished and where will it be kept? Are you both open to showing your faces on the sex tape or is it important to you that your face be obscured? All of these questions require careful consideration.
Even if you’re at a point in your life right now where your job and family situations are such that the fallout from a sex tape leak would be minimal, consider that this might not always be the case. Once something hits the Internet there is no real way to ever get it back -- and it can be floating around for years.
No matter how much you trust your partner, insist on taking measures to protect your privacy and your own personal boundaries. If your partner truly respects you, he or she will have no problem complying with your wishes and making sure that you feel comfortable.
Once you’ve gotten the details ironed out, it’s time to set the mood. If you’re going to take the time to make a sex tape, you’re going to want it to look good when you’re done.
Luckily, you don’t need a Hollywood set to make a sex tape that’s visually pleasing. There are a few little things that you can do to make sure that you and your film look your best.
First, consider where you want to film. Filming in your bedroom is the easiest and most obvious choice, but don’t be afraid to experiment with other spots around your house.
Try hopping up on a sturdy desk or table, using a stairwell to facilitate some more adventurous positions or heading out to a secluded backyard or patio. The novelty of getting it on somewhere you normally wouldn’t will only add to the excitement of making your sex tape.
Once you find a spot, take a minute to stage the area. Remember that the camera sees everything and the last thing you want to see in the frame of your steamy sex tape is your dirty socks or old take out containers. Remove anything from the area that could be a mood killer and you’re halfway to creating the perfect ambiance.
Just like most of us cringe when we hear a recording of our voice, seeing yourself doing the deed on film can be a little jarring at first for even the most confident person. Avoiding harsh, direct lighting is the best way to ensure that your sex tape leaves you feeling sexy instead of uncomfortable.
There are a few easy ways to create soft light in your space before filming. If you’re really dedicated and somewhat handy, you can install a dimmer switch on lighting anywhere in your house in an hour or less by following an online tutorial like this one from Home Depot. It takes a little extra work, but this quick modification really enhances a room and is something you can enjoy long after your sex tape romp is over.
If you’re not excited about the idea of breaking out your tool box, you can also modify the lighting in your room by draping a sheer scarf over a lamp shade or switching out your regular bulbs for some colored ones to create a softer glow.
Colored light in the yellow and orange range are the most flattering to your skin and can even mask minor scars and blemishes, so keep that in mind while you’re doing your set up. Supplementing your lighting with candles is another great way to add some soft yellow light as well as some romantic ambiance.
Whatever you decide, remember not to skimp on the lighting. You want the lighting to be soft, but that doesn’t mean that you want it to be dim. You’re making a sex tape because you want to see the action, so make sure that you and your partner aren’t hiding in the shadows.
You don’t want your steamy sex scene to look like a blooper reel, so take a few minutes to think about the things that could go wrong and plan accordingly.
Choose a time and place to record that ensures you won’t be interrupted. Set your phones and electronic devices on silent. Make sure that pets are outside or safely closed off in another part of the house. Make sure that any furniture that you are going to be using is sturdy and secure. Prepare any props, sex toys, and the best lubricant for your particular scene and place them nearby so they are ready to go.
Some sex positions have more of a learning curve than others, so be aware that while trying something new can be fun, it could potentially lead to some awkward moments. Also consider how the various sex positions you might utilize will look relative to where your camera is set up. Some angles are more flattering than others, so consider which sex positions show the things you want to show and stick to those.
Kissing, sharing a glass of wine, and giving each other a sexy massage are all great ways to get you both feeling calm and connected before you start filming. The more time you spend stoking the embers, the hotter your sex tape will be -- so take your time.
It’s important to not let nerves ruin the experience for you. It’s normal to feel a little self-conscious at first. You might be feeling insecure about your body or be afraid that you’ll make weird noises. Just remember that those feelings are really common and that they don’t reflect the reality of who you are.
After all, your partner finds you so alluring in bed that he or she wants to film a sex tape with you. Your partner wants nothing more than to see you and hear you and share this experience with you, so there is really nothing to be self-conscious about. Let loose and enjoy yourself.
A great lube can do everything from enhancing your foreplay to prolonging your pleasure, making using lube while filming your sex tape a no-brainer
There are several different kinds of lube, so no matter your preferences you can find the best lubricant for you. There are lubes made especially for vaginal dryness, shower sex, a quick solo session, a marathon session with your partner, and more. If you need help picking out the best lubricant for your needs you can check out our handy guide to the best lubricant for every occasion.
We can even send you a free sample and a coupon for $1.00 off of a full-size bottle of ASTROGLIDE to get you started.
Even if porn isn’t your particular cup of tea, you’ve doubtless been exposed to a fair amount of it. The problem with porn, though it can be entertaining, is that it can set some pretty unrealistic expectations about sex. Porn features sex positions, body types, and sexual scenarios that are rarely a fair representation of the average person’s sex life.
Many of the sex positions used in porn are used because they’re visually appealing, but in reality, the actors are being paid to make you believe that it feels as good as it looks. That’s show business. A scene that looks like it took half an hour was likely filmed over multiple hours, if not days. You may see a perfectly executed scene, but that’s only because all the awkward transitions, failed sex positions, and embarrassing bodily noises ended up on the cutting room floor.
The point is that there is a reason that people get paid to do porn -- because it’s not necessarily fun. Filming your sex tape, on the other hand, should be. Don’t let yourself get so caught up in some preconceived notion of how your sex tape should look that you aren’t enjoying the experience of making it. Focus instead on the pleasure that you and your partner are giving each other and do what feels right for both of you.
The end result will be a sex tape that is far more sexy, personal and intimate than a professionally made porn could ever be.
What do you think of our suggestions? Are there any great tips that you’d like to add? Let us know by tweeting us at @ASTROGLIDE with your comments and suggestions. We’d love to hear what you’ve been up to!
Images are for illustrative purposes only.