In a lot of ways, dating was easier in middle school -- especially when it came to figuring out who liked you. All you had to do was pen a simple note: “Do you like me?”, followed by the boxes “Yes” and “No” (and for those who enjoyed a little mystery, the ever enigmatic “Maybe”). Try to pass a similar note to a gorgeous woman in a crowded bar and she’ll likely turn on her six-inch heels and head for the door. Being an adult is so complicated!
Unfortunately, you can’t just walk up to a woman and say, “My free sample of lube just came in the mail, want to try it out with me?” unless you enjoy getting slapped in public. If you want to score a girlfriend, a date, or you simply want to score, you’ll have to be a little less obvious and, not unlike sex lube, a lot more slick. But your subtlety is likely to be reciprocated and you might have trouble judging if the woman you’re wooing is into you, or if she’s simply being polite. Here are a few of the sneaky signs that prove she’s interested:
A woman who isn’t interested in you won’t ask you what you’re drinking when you approach her at the bar. If you meet her at a concert, she won’t inquire what your favorite song by the performer is, or if this is your first time seeing him play live. Why? Because she doesn’t care. But if the questions you ask her are answered and followed by some questions of her own, according to Brenden Dilley, you’re making a good impression.
Dilley is a Celebrity Life & Relationship Coach and Author of Still Breathin': The Wisdom & Teachings of a Perfectly Flawed Man. He claims that the amount of questions a woman asks you can be a great indicator of her interest. “If you can maintain her gaze, provoke her touch and elicit more questions during conversation, you're on the right path.”
Women who are aware of certain body language signifiers can alter them or hide them, but there are physiological signs of attraction that aren’t as easy to disguise.
“Psychologists argue that women's face, neck, and upper chest redden during the blush of ﬂirtation and the ﬂush of sexual arousal,” says Dr. Raj Persaud. So if you’re flirting with a woman and you notice her neck or chest turning red, you’re probably doing something right!
Most women are perfectly capable of changing a lightbulb, checking their oil or installing the newest update on their smart phones, but asking a cute guy for help is a time-tested technique for stroking his ego while earning some one-on-one time in the process.
If a woman asks for your assistance on a project she can probably handle on her own, it’s definitely a good sign. So the next time your friend or coworker or friend asks for a hand on a simple project — help her out!
Women are excellent information gatherers, and when they want to get to know someone, they’ll often send their friends on fact-gathering missions. Even if they aren’t asked to do recon, if a woman has been telling her friends about you, they might be curious enough to do some poking around on their own.
Pay attention to the way her friends act around you — if they ask you questions about your personal life and seem friendlier than usual, they may be gathering intel.
Does one of your coworkers always seem to be waiting at your favorite table in the break room? She could be timing her breaks with yours so she can spend more time with you. Of course she probably won’t let you know she’s doing this, so you’ll have to pay attention — if it seems like she’s suddenly free for lunch every time you are, it’s likely not a coincidence.
Engaging with you on social media is also a sign that she might be interested. If a woman likes nearly all of your status updates, replies to your tweets or comments on all your Instagram photos, she’s paying you special attention and is likely trying to draw yours.
A woman who’s interested in you will make herself available, even if just by text or email. Before she heads off to college for fall or leaves for a business trip, she’ll touch base with you to let you know how and when she can be reached.
If she doesn’t provide this info to everyone, even better — it means you’re special and she values your attention more. In fact, singling you out in general is a sign of attraction. Does she deliver your favorite Starbucks drink to your desk as a surprise without doing the same for anyone else? If so, she likes you more than her other co-workers or acquaintances — and this is definitely a good sign!
Keep an eye out for these signals if you’re trying to gauge the interest of a woman you’re crushing on, but also remember that attraction is a fluid thing. Just because she does or doesn’t show signs of interest initially doesn’t mean she can’t fall for you over time (or decide you’re actually a creep — sorry!). Stay vigilant and try to read the signs as your connection to each other grows and changes and who knows — you might just get to try out that sex lube together after all.
Women — we want to know if you agree with these signs. Do you find yourself doing these things when you’re interested? Do you have other little signals you send off to guys or gals you’d like to date? Tell us how you show your interest by tweeting us @ASTROGLIDE.
Images are for illustrative purposes only.