Do you find yourself physically incapable of walking past a shiny penny on the sidewalk without picking it up? Do you scurry away when you see the neighbor’s black cat crossing the street, refuse to open an umbrella indoors or open and close your personal lube three times before every use just for good luck? If you’re like most people, you probably follow at least one superstition. Most of us do it out of habit -- as a tradition that’s been handed down from generations of rabbit foot rubbers and salt throwers, wishbone crackers and finger crossers. But do your superstitions have their place, or do you carry them everywhere, even into the bedroom?
“Superstition is the need to view the world in terms of simple cause and effect.” - Bernard Beckett
If you believe getting lucky can literally be just that, then you’re not alone. Plenty of people around the world have unique superstitions and beliefs when it comes to getting busy. We did some research of our own to uncover some of the strangest.
A giant circle-jerk will help crops grow. Today, many practicing pagans and wiccans incorporate aspects of sexuality into their spiritual practices. It’s believed that some ancient pagan religions linked sex to fertility, and fertility to a good harvest. To appease the fertility gods, they practiced large-scale group masturbation. The more, the merrier! Luckily today’s practitioners have liquid lubricants to help them out.
Have sex on Good Friday and you’ll get stuck. Good Friday is one of the holiest days on the Christian calendar, and according to Filipino lore, anyone who dishonors the holiday by getting down and dirty will be repaid with a pretty unique curse -- they’ll be “stuck” to their partner for at least 24 hours. Now that’s what we call awkward.
Masturbating into the Nile will protect against drought. The ancient Egyptians viewed masturbation as a largely creative act. In fact, they credited the creation of the entire universe to a single masturbation session by the god Atum. The rise and fall of the Nile was also said to be influenced by Atum’s solo sessions. To appease the hands-on god, or perhaps to tap into their own god-like powers, Egyptian Pharaohs masturbated into the Nile to ensure plentiful water for their crops.
If a girl trips you while you’re dancing, you must have sex. For the semi-nomadic Guajiros of northeastern Colombia and northwestern Venezuela, having two left feet isn’t necessarily a bad thing. During the Chichimaya dance, women try to trip the object of their affection. If they’re successful, their dance partner becomes their sex partner.
To avoid raising a problem child, save sex for sunny days. According to German folklore, children conceived during rainstorms are more likely to be female, while babies conceived during dry weather are more likely to be male. A traditional Korean superstition holds that any child conceived during stormy weather will grow up surrounded by problems. So unless you want to raise a child who’s an unholy terror, you may want to check your birth control method (and the weather report) before you get busy. To keep things wet, you may want to rely on liquid lubricants instead.
If you have sex during the day, you’ll conceive an albino child. The Bambara tribe of West Africa has a very specific view of what makes a baby healthy and “good.” Twins are considered bad luck, and triplets even more so. Albino children are especially disliked, and according to Bambara lore the best way to avoid conceiving one is to only have sex when the sun goes down.
Placing a mirror near your bed will turn you into a sex fiend. One superstition from Thailand warns against placing mirrors in your bedroom. Apparently, if you constantly see yourself in bed, your mind will begin to obsess over sex. Oddly, they don’t have any beliefs on where you put your sex toys and personal lube -- so feel free to display your stockpile openly.
Averting your eyes while toasting will curse you with seven years of bad sex. At least, that’s what many Germans believe. The next time you clink glasses, make sure you make eye contact each time your glasses meet. Better safe than sorry, right?
Sex before battle will lead to defeat. The Ganda people of Uganda strictly forbid sex on the night before a battle. They believe anyone who engages in sex before hitting the battlefield will be weak and ultimately unsuccessful. This belief has found its way to many other cultures as well, most notably within the world of sports. Many coaches caution their players to abstain from sex before a big game so as not to “take the edge off” of their competitive spirit.
If you’re trying to catch a bear or a turtle, keep your pants on. The Lepcha people of Tibet and Nepa swear off sex for three months after they set a bear trap. The Cuna of Panama strictly forbid intercourse during a turtle hunt. Both cultures believe that getting some action means catching no prey -- and they must have some pretty serious chefs among them to make a bowl of turtle soup more appealing than a night of unbridled passion.
Although you probably aren’t ready to jump on the bandwagon of all of these sexual superstitions, not all of them seem so bad. Maybe you can adopt a few yourself and use them to your advantage -- perhaps as an icebreaker the next time you find yourself clinking glasses with someone cute or cutting a rug with a clumsy but adorable dancer. Although we were surprised to find so many strange sex superstitions from these cultures around the world, we’re positive we haven’t covered them all. Do you know a superstition related to sex that we didn’t discuss here? Have you created your own superstitious practices that govern where you keep your free lube sample or get busy with your partner? Tell us by tweeting @Astroglide!
Images are for illustrative purposes only.