The Glide Guidecondoms

Astroglide’s Condom Courtsey for Women

Astroglide — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:30:32 +0000

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Safe sex is still important and savvy females know their lambskins from their latex. Is it polite to offer a gentleman a Trojan? Should you keep a condom in your evening bag? Who’s in charge of going to the drugstore and buying them? Today, smart women know the rules of the game when it comes to using condoms and take responsibility for safe sex and preventing. We have some suggestions you won’t find in Granny’s etiquette book.

Read the Wrapper
Learn how a man puts on a condom. Then, instead of listening to “Aw babe, I don’t wanna wear one,” you can turn the tables and offer to help. Putting the condom on can become a very sexy part of your foreplay.
Don’t Rely on the Guy
Single females should keep a reasonable supply of condoms in the bedside table, the medicine chest, even in a favorite purse. Otherwise somebody’s going out in the cold at 1 am to find a drugstore that’s open.
Reasonable means two. Three tops.
Even if you buy everything by the case at the warehouse club, a value-pack of 600 assorted condoms on your bureau just sends the wrong message.
Oh, it’s so cute and tiny!
Most condoms are one-size fits all, and that’s the size to keep on hand. Those marked Xtra-Fit, Super Size and Big Boss will only intimidate the less generously-endowed. If a previous beau had difficulty finding condoms big enough to fit, it’s not necessary to mention this to your new guy who is having no trouble at all slipping into an “average.”
Go for the glide
Even men who hate condoms will change their tunes if you introduce a drop or two of Astroglide inside the condom. It’s off the Richter scale when it comes to sensation and reduces condom-breaking friction. Guys enjoy the sensation so much, they’ll beg to wear a rubber bootie next time. Never use Vaseline, oil or petroleum products to lubricate as they break down the latex. A good lubricant like Astroglide — and plenty of it — will turn safe sex into spectacular sex for both of you.
Restraint, please
Never tear the condom package open with your teeth. It may save your manicure, but it’s a behavior that can frighten a sensitive male and may lead to spontaneous deflation.

Have another piece of condom advice you’d like to add? Be slick and leave us your comment below.

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Did You Know? Odd & Interesting Facts About Sex

Astroglide — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:30:24 +0000

Thanksgiving: A good holiday…or the BEST holiday? Certain smells like vanilla and pumpkin pie can make men sexually excited and increase the blood flow to the penis.
Shrinkage: the revenge. A man’s penis shrinks when his team scores a touchdown. Intense nonsexual excitement can make the little fella disappear.
It’s fun, but is it covered by your HMO? Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions.
And try finding a shepherd at 2 am on a Friday night. The condom was originally made of lamb intestine. It was invented by Dr. Condom in the early 1500s. (University of Washington Daily, 12/21/1997)
Wham, bam, thank you, Tarzan. Chimpanzees hold the record for the fastest quickies, with sexual intercourse lasting as little as three seconds.
Some people can’t pass up a bargain. Napoleon’s withered penis was purchased at a 1969 auction for $38,000.
She’d keep tipping over…if she were life-sized. Barbie’s measurements would be 41-19-32.
Today they’d be called The Barbies. Early French explorers named Wyoming’s mountains the Grand Tetons. The name means “Big Tits.”
Keep swimming and whatever you do, don’t make eye contact. The average size for a sperm whale’s penis is about 16 feet long – when he’s not excited about anything.
Nice puppies, too. A sperm whale’s testes weigh in at a bouncing 25 lbs each, about the same as a good sized bulldog.
Another good reason not to buy an SUV: in Mumbai, India, a man pulled a car with his penis in front of the Mahalakshmi Temple in protest of India’s 1989 oil crisis.
Is that a moccachino in your pocket or are you glad to see me? The Archives of General Medicine say coffee drinkers have sex more frequently and enjoy it more than non-coffee drinkers.
It made a helluva mocchachino. The first automatic vibrator was invented in 1869. It ran on boiling water and was steam-powered.

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2 Great Bedroom Tips

Astroglide — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:30:08 +0000

The Kama Sutra and the rascally Rabbit are fine, but if you’re into supersizing your sex life, these two tips will turn your bedroom into a Hot Zone.

First, use a lubricant. Always.
Whether or not your guy uses condoms, a great lubricant is essential to great sex. Astroglide isn’t called Astro-heaven for nothing. You get a moisture boost that has to be experienced to be believed. Nothing on earth compares with its wet and wild slide.
Second, go deep.
When applying Astroglide (or any lube), don’t use it just on the outer areas of the vagina. Apply it as deep inside as possible. That’s where the action is, and that’s where it turns into the wildest glide of your life.

And here’s a bonus tip: If your guy wears condoms, add a dollop of Astroglide on the inside. It makes slipping the condom on easier, but the real excitement starts when your guy feels the glide against his skin. Not only that, but it reduces condom-breaking friction to let you relax and enjoy. The earth will shake.

Try it, you’ll thank us later.

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