- Thanksgiving: A good holiday…or the BEST holiday? Certain smells like vanilla and pumpkin pie can make men sexually excited and increase the blood flow to the penis.
- Shrinkage: the revenge. A man’s penis shrinks when his team scores a touchdown. Intense nonsexual excitement can make the little fella disappear.
- It’s fun, but is it covered by your HMO? Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions.
- And try finding a shepherd at 2 am on a Friday night. The condom was originally made of lamb intestine. It was invented by Dr. Condom in the early 1500s. (University of Washington Daily, 12/21/1997)
- Wham, bam, thank you, Tarzan. Chimpanzees hold the record for the fastest quickies, with sexual intercourse lasting as little as three seconds.
- Some people can’t pass up a bargain. Napoleon’s withered penis was purchased at a 1969 auction for $38,000.
- She’d keep tipping over…if she were life-sized. Barbie’s measurements would be 41-19-32.
- Today they’d be called The Barbies. Early French explorers named Wyoming’s mountains the Grand Tetons. The name means “Big Tits.”
- Keep swimming and whatever you do, don’t make eye contact. The average size for a sperm whale’s penis is about 16 feet long – when he’s not excited about anything.
- Nice puppies, too. A sperm whale’s testes weigh in at a bouncing 25 lbs each, about the same as a good sized bulldog.
- Another good reason not to buy an SUV: in Mumbai, India, a man pulled a car with his penis in front of the Mahalakshmi Temple in protest of India’s 1989 oil crisis.
- Is that a moccachino in your pocket or are you glad to see me? The Archives of General Medicine say coffee drinkers have sex more frequently and enjoy it more than non-coffee drinkers.
- It made a helluva mocchachino. The first automatic vibrator was invented in 1869. It ran on boiling water and was steam-powered.
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