Warm Your Heart and Steam-Up Your Bedroom This Valentine’s Day

Valentine Hearts on a TreeSome Tips for Heating the Silk Sheets from Astroglide Personal Lubricants

 Pop open a bottle of wine and break out the lingerie: this Valentine’s Day is going to be special. Planning the romantic evening is a breeze, but once dinner is done, the lights go down and the candles are lit, it’s time to shake things up in the bedroom- work some magic that’ll make Cupid jealous.

 Here are some tips from Astroglide Personal Lubricants to help set the mood for your Valentine’s evening.

  •  Sweeten the moment with fresh strawberries and whipped cream, an oral sensation that will put your lover on sensory overload. A Box of chocolates is nice, but chocolate body paints are even nicer. Write words or symbols of your love and then slowly lick them off.
  •  Make ‘em beg for more with a prolonged foreplay experience your significant other will never forget. Start out with kissing and a little light touching and work your way up to nibbling, light scratching and some dirty talk for good measure.
  •  A silky-smooth and sensual experience is the best way to get your skin warmed up for an evening of pleasure. Forego your usual bed-sheets and pillowcases for some vividly colored silk sheets. Stimulating as many senses as possible simultaneously is key to the perfect night.
  •  Aural pleasure is a great way to get the rhythm right. Create a sexy playlist and put it on at a low volume to build the right aura—but make sure it’s not up too loud, because you’ll want to be able to hear the sounds of your lover for some added audio stimulation.
  •  Home is where the heart is, so listen to your heart and really explore the space. The bedroom’s great, but you’ve been there and done that. Take it into the kitchen, the living room, the office, the shower, even the closet—anywhere that’s new and exciting.
  •  Lose control by letting your lover tie you up. Who likes to dominate in your relationship? You know who owns the bedroom better than we do, so let that person take control. Or switch up the roles for an even naughtier night.  Tie your lover up with a scarf, put a blindfold on them and watch the rest of their senses heighten eagerly.
  •  Heart- and skin-warming pleasure is the perfect solution steaming up the bedroom. Throw some Astroglide Warming Liquid into the mix to add a soft, warming sensation to skin, enhancing the pleasure for you and your special someone. For lovers who like to turn up the heat—without the candle wax.
  •  Go Wet & Wild in the shower, Jacuzzi, or even a kiddie pool in the backyard. Bring a new dimension of fun to your lovemaking with a little water play. Bubbles and a light fragrance add just the right touch. Add Astroglide X Silicone Personal Lubricant and experience a whole new level of slippery sensations.

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Menopause Can Be Good For Your Relationship

Marg found her own way of dealing with hot flashes

Marg found her own way of dealing with hot flashes

You probably did a double take when you read that headline, but really, menopause can be good for your relationship — you just have to look at each aspect and find the silver lining.

  • No more pregnancy worries. Think of all the freedom that comes with this! You can now be a bit more spontaneous, without having to worry about condoms.
  • Take advantage of hot flashes. When you start feeling the heat, get tropical with your man. We’re sure he wouldn’t mind seeing you in as little clothing as possible.
  • Have fun with the mood changes. Embrace the roller coaster. It’s a built-in excuse for doing what you want when you want to. Just don’t abuse it …
  • You now have options for treating vaginal dryness. Whether it’s occasional or severe, there are many different personal lubricants and vaginal moisturizers for every need and whim.

Astroglide Personal Lubricants not only help relieve vaginal dryness, they add spice to any intimate activity.

Life is what you make of it. If you decide to let menopause control your life, it will. If you find the positives, the changes will become more about enjoyment.

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Funniest Email Story I’ve Read in a LONG Time – Gym Membership

WOMAN’S WEEK AT THE GYM

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

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MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
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TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.
_____________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.Â
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THURSDAY:
Butthole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late – it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.
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FRIDAY:
I hate that jerk Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
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SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
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SUNDAY:
I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

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