Finding yourself single again can be a real bummer. If you’re used to living life as a twosome, being on your own suddenly can feel pretty lonely. From constantly being the third wheel to dealing with the trials of online dating, the single life can start to feel pretty bleak.
But don’t worry: it’s not all bad. Being single is actually pretty awesome if you give it a chance -- you just have to have the right attitude. Whether you are just getting over a breakup or you’ve been on the single train for a while, here’s everything you need to know about how to love the single life:
For many people, just the idea of being alone can conjure terrifying images of microwave dinners for one and dying alone with a hoard of cats. Our culture doesn’t exactly paint a pretty picture of what it can mean to be single. But don’t let any of that fool you. The truth is that the single life can actually be a total blast.
It’s all about your attitude. Make a point of recognizing all the awesome things that you get to do now that you don’t have a significant other to tie you down. Sleep diagonally across the bed, watch the kind of movies that your ex used to hate, and enjoy flirting with the hottie at the coffee shop. The single life is what you make of it, so relax and have fun.
Not only is being alone way more exciting than it sounds -- it can actually be a really important step for your future happiness. Sure, being a part of a couple provides a sense of calm and security. It’s comforting to know that we are loved and that we have a partner to share our lives with. However, it’s an important step in your development to realize that you are enough all on your own. Being single is the perfect opportunity to figure that out.
Also, keep in mind that being single isn’t the same thing as being alone. Sure, you might not have a steady right now, but that doesn’t mean that your life is without love or connection. Your family and friends still love you just as much as they ever have and there are always more friends out there waiting to be made.
The flexibility and freedom that comes with the single life provide lots of opportunities to have new adventures -- so be ready to seize them. Whether it’s the opportunity to travel, to take on a new and challenging project at work, or even just deciding whether to go check out a party with a new friend, make a commitment to yourself to start saying yes.
Saying yes can have a transformative effect on your life by opening up doors you wouldn’t even have considered possible before. You will never know the adventures you could have, the people you could meet, and the exciting possibilities that can arise unless you are willing to put yourself out there and engage with the opportunities that comes your way. So don’t hold yourself back. And remember, if it goes badly, at least you’ll have a great story tell.
While learning to be alone is an important part of being single, you can’t help it if you attract some romantic attention along the way. When you’re enjoying your single life, following your passions, and having fun it makes you that much more attractive to potential partners -- so don’t be surprised if a few come knocking.
Dating around is part of the fun of being single. The excitement of first dates and first kisses are something to be enjoyed, so don’t hold yourself back from exploring what’s out there. However, make sure that you aren’t in too much of a hurry to get locked down. This is your chance to make some real decisions about the direction that your life is going to be headed, romantically and otherwise -- you want to make sure that you’re making the right ones.
Give yourself the opportunity to explore your options. There are lots of great people out there, but finding someone who is the perfect fit for you can take some time, so be patient. In the meantime, enjoy the fun of playing the field. Just make sure that you’re safe and don’t forget the lube. (We can even send you a free sample and a coupon for $1.00 off of a full-size bottle of Astroglide to get you stocked up.)
Not having a boo to go home to every night means that you have a lot more free time -- and it’s up to you to decide how to spend it. While we’re certainly not above losing a weekend to a Netflix marathon here and there, holing up at home is not the way to finding happiness in your single life. It’s important to fill your time with activities that leave you feeling excited and fulfilled, not isolated and depressed.
One of the biggest keys to how to be happy single is to take your newfound time and freedom and invest it in yourself. Have you always wanted to start a band? Is there an unfinished novel on your hard drive gathering digital dust? Have you always wanted to learn how to code? Whatever your interests, being single is the perfect opportunity to get more in touch with the things that make you tick.
Even better, when you’re immersed in something that you are really passionate about, you’re more likely to meet people who share your same interests. Not only can this lead to you finding an awesome new group of friends, but you just might find yourself connecting with a like-minded cutie along the way.
One of the best parts of being single is that you have the opportunity to go out more and spend time with your friends. Use this time wisely by spending time with people who build you up and make you feel your best. This isn’t the time to be dealing with negativity. Make a point to surround yourself with quality people.
When you’re single, you get the first and final word in what your life will be like. You don’t have to defer to anyone else or compromise on anything. It’s all about you and what makes you happy. So take this time to be intentional about creating the kind of life that will make you feel proud and happy and fulfilled.
Start by setting some goals for yourself. Are there things that are important to you that you’ve been neglecting? Are there things that you want to accomplish that you’ve been putting off? Or maybe there are things that make you really happy that you’d like to include more of in your day-to-day routine? Include anything and everything that you think would make your life more positive and fulfilling.
Write all of those things down and then make a plan to make those things happen. Check in with yourself every few weeks to see how you’re doing. The more concrete you are with your goals and the more structured you are in following up, the more likely you are to be successful. All of this might sound like work, but once you start creating some new habits and seeing the payoff, it will all be worth it.
In the course of a relationship it’s easy to get so caught up with your partner that you aren’t taking the time to check in with yourself and make sure that your needs are being met. Being single is a great time to check in with yourself and practice some serious self-love. Everyone has needs from the emotional to the physical -- and learning to take care of those needs is a huge step in finding happiness in your single life and beyond.
In the immortal words of RuPaul, if you can’t love yourself, how are you going to love anybody else? That’s why it’s so important to take the time when you are single to fall in love with yourself. The best way to start is by treating yourself the way you would treat someone that you were head over heels for.
Think about it: when you’re in love with someone you think they are the most attractive person in the world, flaws and all. You don’t talk down to them. You are understanding of their faults and supportive of their ambitions. You look out for their best interest and you do little things to pamper them. The beauty of it is that all of these things are things that you can -- and absolutely should -- do for yourself.
When you practice self-love a perspective shift happens. You take better care of yourself and you treat yourself with more compassion. Meeting your own needs will not only make you feel happier in your day-to-day life, but it makes it much more likely that you will wait for the right person to come along instead of just jumping head first into the first relationship that comes along. And when you do find that right person, your confidence and deep sense of comfort with yourself will only make it easier for you to be a loving and connected partner.
While you’re making all of these changes in your life, you’re likely to find that you are changing as well. You might make new friends, find new passions, or find yourself wanting things that you never considered before. All of that is great news and means that you are doing a great job of getting in touch with yourself.
Be sure to keep an open mind through this process. You don’t have to jump at the first whim that you have, but don’t close yourself off to anything either. This is a time of transformation for you, so just relax and enjoy the journey.
So what do you think of our advice on how to love being single? Do you have any tips that you’d like to add? Let us know your thoughts by tweeting us @Astroglide.
Images are for illustrative purposes only.