“How does he do it, you ask. How does an average guy like me become the number one lover-man in his particular postal district?” That’s the question John Cusak’s character poses in the cult-classic High Fidelity. And in the next hour or so we find the answer — boyish good looks, a killer record collection, and way, way more luck than any man deserves (he does date both Catherine Zeta Jones and Lisa Bonet, after all).
Most guys don’t have it so easy. Even if they roll up to the first date in an Aston Martin sporting the jawline of James Dean and the comedic genius of Will Ferrell, all it takes is one night of terrible sex to completely ruin their chances at long-term bliss (or a solid sexual rep). And while it’s easy to pick up golf and grilling tips from friends, guys are far less likely to share sex tips with each other. So how can they improve their skills?
Don’t worry — we’re here to help. Follow this guide and we guarantee you’ll soon be the number one lover-man in your postal district (or at least in the top ten).
Ever wonder why clairvoyants claim to have predictive powers but none of them ever seem to win the lottery? The answer isn’t in a crystal ball — it’s in the ancient art of “cold reading.”
These mediums begin by making general suggestions and paying very, very close attention to how people react. Nodding, leaning forward, raising eyebrows — these are all signs that the psychic’s predictions are on the right track. By backing out of the suggestions that seem to be dead ends and proceeding cautiously down the paths that produce positive reactions, mediums amaze their audiences, even if they don’t have a connection to the spirit world.
You can use the same kind of skill to seem like a mind-reader in the bedroom. Here’s how:
When it comes to sex tips for guys, “reading” your partner’s mind is incredibly important — but giving them feedback might be even more crucial. If you want to have the best sex of your life, it isn’t just about telling your partner what you like and don’t like — HOW you give your feedback matters too. For great sex, here are tips to follow:
As many a girl’s Instagram bio proclaims, “Life isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey.” So while you may have tunnel vision on the orgasm waiting for you at the finish line, try not to run full speed until you reach it. Slow down and take a detour or two.
If you’ve ever wondered how to have longer sex, taking control of your pace is key, but in the heat of the moment it’s easier said than done. These sex tips for guys can help:
Refocus on foreplay. Kissing and caressing aren’t things that should only happen before penetration. You’ll have the hottest sex ever when you continue these actions throughout your sex session.
Give the nipples some love. Nipples are packed with nerve endings, making them powerful erogenous zones. Slow your thrusts and give your partner’s nipples some attention by gently licking them up and down, licking around them in a circular motion and sucking on them lightly. It’ll drive them wild and allow you a chance to catch your breath.
Slow your breathing. You don’t need to get into the lotus position and start meditating, but breathing deeply for four seconds and exhaling for four seconds can help slow your heart rate, decrease blood flow and help you last longer in bed.
Blow jobs are like pizza slices — if you’re handing them out for free, 9 out of 10 people are going to jump on it. But a far smaller percentage is going to return the favor. “I just don’t like giving oral sex!” They’ll say, as if their partners woke up that day thinking “I hope I get to give a blowjob today!” Shoutout to those of you who do — you’re the true MVPs. But in the words of Sex and the City’s Samantha, “Honey, it’s called a job for a reason!”
So if you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to reciprocate. This doesn’t just go for oral sex, it should also apply to other areas of your love making. Does your girlfriend constantly give you backrubs before sex? Does your boyfriend always agree to do your favorite sex positions, even the ones he’s not that into? Think about what makes you feel best before, during and after sex and ask yourself if you’re putting in the same level of work.
If there’s one sex tip for guys that you should always remember, it’s that when it comes to sex, consent isn’t just important — it’s critical. You should never engage in a sexual act you’re not sure you have consent for, or pressure someone who seems upset or unwilling to have sex. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t tell a partner what you want, or ask them for what you’re into.
Taking the reins in the bedroom can lead to some of the best sex of your life, not just for you but for your partner as well. When you say things like “I want to taste you” or “get on top of me” you’re not just being powerfully sexy, you’re also being passionate. Asking for what you want or giving instructions can help you enjoy yourself more, but it can also take the pressure off of your partner who may be asking themselves “are they into this?”
Remember you don’t have to wait until you’re both naked to be decisive. Send a sexy text while you’re partner’s at work letting them know exactly what you want to do to them when they get home. Getting in the mood early will lead to some great sex later.
People talk about g-spots like they’re UFOs or sasquatches. Sure, some people claim to have found them, but do they really exist? The truth is out there, friends, and the truth is this — knowing your g-spot and your partner’s g-spot might just be the key to the hottest sex ever.
The female g-spot. If you love the ladies, do yourself a favor and read our Ultimate Guide to the Female G-Spot. Contrary to popular belief, the female g-spot isn’t a spot at all. Astroglide’s Resident Sexologist Dr. Jess explains: “The G-spot is not a distinct entity, nor is it located inside of the vagina; it can be felt through the vagina and when stimulated, the tissue begins to swell,” says Dr. Jess. “As opposed to being a singular organ, it is believed that its sensitivity is connected to corollary stimulation of the female prostate (previously referred to as Skene’s glands), urethral sponge and inner clitoris.”
Complicated? Maybe a bit, but don’t worry — our Ultimate Guide can help you find and stimulate the female g-spot to give her a mind-blowing orgasm.
The male g-spot. Does your partner have a penis? If so, they also have a g-spot! Stimulating the male g-spot basically means stimulating the prostate gland and there’s more than one way to do it.
The easiest way is to press gently on the skin between the anus and balls (the perineum). You can massage this area by using two fingers to “pulse” as you’re stroking, sucking, or having sex. Do this right before he orgasms to be known as the man who gave him the hottest sex ever.
You can also stimulate the male g-spot from the inside. Read our complete guide to the male g-spot to learn how!
We’ve covered a lot of the basics, but don’t text your hookup yet — we’re not done! Here are 20 more sex tips for guys who want to make love like superheroes:
“Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.” Garrison Keillor
We’ve thrown a lot of sex tips for guys at you in this post, and we know it’s a lot to take in all at once. But if we can leave you with one final tip for great sex, let it be this: stay in the moment. Read these tips, try to remember them and put them to use, but don’t try to cross them off your mental checklist while you’re thrusting. Stay present, connect and above all enjoy yourself!
Know some sex tips we didn’t share here? Think you know the secret to having the hottest sex ever? Share the love and tweet your tips to @Astroglide!
Images are for illustrative purposes only.