When you're dealing with infertility, it can be easy to forget to take care of your own emotional needs. Here are a few ways to show yourself some TLC when you're TTC.
Dealing with infertility is tough for so many reasons. There may be weeks you want to throw your BFN (“big fat negative” pregnancy test) right through a window. There may be times that you feel broken, unsexy, or somehow “less than” because you’re not getting pregnant as quickly as society tells you you should, or because your sperm count or motility remains low.
When you feel like that, having incredible sex with your partner may be the last thing you want to do, so sex begins to feel like a chore -- or worse, your relationship feels strained.
When you’re trying to conceive and dealing with infertility, one of the easiest things to do is forget to take care of you. Not just your reproductive organs, but your whole self: mind, body and spirit. Relieving stress and living a more peaceful, loving life with self-compassion aren’t just good for you, they’re good for your fertility, too.
So why not resolve to show yourself some kindness during this process? Take a look at these self-care resolutions and commit to one or two of them every day:
No matter what messages you may have internalized, dealing with infertility makes you no less of a man or a woman. If you find yourself feeling down on yourself or your body, do something that makes you feel extra sexy or confident. That could be putting on your favorite outfit, spritzing on some expensive perfume or cologne, breaking out your favorite lipstick or even putting on your sexiest Ray-Bans. Whatever makes you feel like sex on two legs, do it -- then look at the mirror and say, “Damn.”
When you’re dealing with infertility, your body can feel like a war zone that never quite does what you want it to do. After a while, your own flesh and bones may seem like your enemy. Make up with your body by doing something that makes it feel fantastic. Go for a hike up your favorite nearby hill. Take a dip in the hottub. Turn your sickest jams up loud and dance around your bedroom in your sexiest underwear. Get a full-body massage (or trade sexy massages with your partner!). Remembering how your body can make you feel wonderful may help ease the sting of when it doesn’t perform as expected.
When you’re trying to conceive, sometimes sex feels like a means to an end -- and your pleasure takes a back seat. Get back in touch with your erotic nature by spending some one-on-one time with yourself! Light some candles, put on some Enya, grab your favorite toy (and copious quantities of lube) and explore your own body. Take your time, focusing on nothing but your own pleasure. Maybe take a few sexy selfies to send your partner to stimulate your imagination. But just for once, let sex be all about you and all about feeling amazing.
Self-care comes in many forms. You may practice daily affirmations (for example, “I am complete the way I am,” “I can achieve my goals” or “I am worthy of love”). You may practice yoga, or mindfulness meditation. Maybe you’re into adult coloring books, or hugging your pet cat under a blanket fort. Whatever makes you feel better in your own body, do that thing every day -- dealing with infertility takes a great deal of strength and resolve, and you deserve to reward yourself!
What do you like to do for self-care? Let us know by tweeting us @AstroglideTTC!
Images are for illustrative purposes only.