Focus on the details.
The next time you’re having a slow and sensual moment with your partner, focus on what’s lovely and unique about your beloved, and in a most flattering way. Don’t be shy in sharing how much you love her curves, or melt at the sight of his brown eyes, or adore the arches of her feet, or can’t get enough of his smile. Flattery helps your partner to feel special and sends the message that you notice everything endearing and attractive about them.
Give your partner a reason to get dressed up!
Almost everybody has special outfits for special occasions, with too few special reasons to get dolled up for. Give your partner the perfect excuse to throw on her little black dress or his favorite old tux. Whether it’s dinner and dancing, a drink at a trendy cocktail bar, or a carriage ride through the park, find a reason to throw on your best and simply celebrate the two of you!
Ask for it.
It’s amazing how many people want something from their lover or want to do something to them, but never think to ask. Instead they write sex experts for ideas on how to make “X” come true, only to get the response, “Ask your lover. Only s/he can tell you.” So if you want something – anything – ask your lover if he is into it, or what she thinks about it, or if he’d be up for it. You may just be surprised.
Experiment with the lighting in your boudoir.
Simple changes can go a long way in changing the mood, enhancing the sensual and welcoming the sexual. Consider what can be done differently in your bedroom when it comes to the lighting. Something as easy as screwing a red light bulb into your bedside lamp, or safely draping a red silk scarf over a lampshade, can make all of the difference in the world.
Take magazine sex tips with a grain of salt.
Media publications are always trying to equip readers with sex tips, and novel ones at that. Whether based on sex expert opinion or concocted by the writers themselves, ideas for better sex via “new” positions, techniques, maneuvers… may not deliver what’s promised. This is because the trick may not work for every individual. In either case, don’t beat yourselves up if the sex advice doesn’t work for you. Something else will.
Straighten up your space.
A lot of people can’t get work done in a space that’s messy and cluttered. Same thing goes for getting it on in the bedroom. It can be hard to get turned on when your boudoir has dirty clothes on the floor, piles of paperwork strewn about, or simply looks like it was hit by a storm. Taking the time to clean up and get non-sensual items out of the bedroom can have big pay-offs, with the Feng Shui belief system holding that such efforts invite more sensual, sexual energy into your private space.
Stop if it hurts.
This may seem like a no-brainer, but a number of lovers will continue to have sex even when in pain. This often happens because one fears disappointing a partner or doesn’t want to lose out on an intimate moment. Your body is in pain for a reason, so go with your instincts and stop. Let your partner know what’s going on and suggest ways to still be intimate for the time being. Later, brainstorm possible reasons and solutions for the pain, e.g., the need to incorporate lubricant or engage in more foreplay. If the pain continues, consider consulting a medical doctor and/or sex therapist.