Don’t settle for so-so sex.
Just because you value the friendship and intimacy you have with your lover, you shouldn’t have to settle for mediocre sex. This is especially important to remember considering that being “in love” doesn’t guarantee super sex. Sometimes, hot sex requires some effort. If you find yourself falling back on the comfort companionship provides instead of working towards amazing amour-making, challenge yourself to go for what you want out of a sexual relationship. Get your partner on board as to whether or not this relationship has the potential to give you two just that. You never know unless you try!
Strategize your sexual signature.
Always leave your mark, sexual mark that is. If you haven’t done it before, you can start now. Have your own, distinct sex signal or move that’s all yours – your sexual signature. This could be stripping down to just one piece of clothing, e.g., your socks, sliding your breasts over his body, biting yourself when you orgasm… The possibilities are endless and any of them can be yours. Such demonstrations of confidence in your sexuality, in your body, and in the art of seduction can lead to absolutely amazing sexual encounters.
If you might need a new “type,” write down a list of all of your old lovers.
Under each name, list the things that attracted you to him or her, then the things that turned you off each person. Look over your answers and see if there’s a pattern as far as the kinds of individuals you go for and the kinds of things you’ve put up with against better judgment. Try to keep these in mind as you work the singles’ scene, being open minded in meeting those who may not be your “type” and being aware of those who may be a repeat problem.
Relish in “after play”!
No matter what the sexual experience and response, make sure that you nurture your emotional, spiritual bond. Spend post-love making in tender conversation, letting go of all inhibitions. While still petting and embracing, tell each other what you liked, what felt good about your partner, or an unexpected joy.
Have the tough talks in getting out of a rut.
Feeling you’re in a rut, sexual or otherwise? A frank conversation about what’s going on with you can bring the two of you closer together and help your partner to understand your view on issues. People’s problems play out in the bedroom and having such a talk can better explain the dynamic that going on between the two of you – one that could be hampering sex play. The two of you can work together since communication is key. Better sex can only happen in letting each other know what feels good (and what doesn’t) and by giving constructive criticism (point out something positive, but then show/tell how it can be done better). This goes for both in and out of the bedroom.
If you haven’t used your phone to send a dirty or arousing message or pic, consider putting your digits to work! Recent unpublished research conducted at Argosy University found that sexting can be a valuable tool for couples looking to maintain or rejuvenate both their physical and emotional connections. For single adults, sexting can result in positive emotions as well.
Look into each other’s eyes.
When people maintain eye contact, they’re likelier to establish rapport. It’s when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable that we become susceptible and exposed, and this is what accelerates a connection with somebody since the other knows that self-disclosure is difficult. In taking an emotional risk, this person is likelier to trust you. This can only enhance your sex life!.
Have truly steamy shower sex.
Run the shower on its hottest possible setting for about 5 minutes, making the bathroom as steamy as possible. This will help to relax stiff muscles, loosening you up for intimacy, while getting the blood flow going. Before turning off the water, place a couple of towels on the floor of the bathtub or shower. If you’re the receiving partner for this romp, step in the tub or shower and bend over, putting your hands against a support, like the wall, for balance. Then have your lover enter you from behind, and enjoy a true tropical jungle ride!
Become a yoni worshipper.
According to Christa Schulte, author of Tantric Sex for Women, Tantric practices can be traced back to the Zami cult, a female-centered sexual discipleship founded in ancient, subcontinental India. Schulte claims that women belonging to this secret sect started a system of worshipping the yoni (Sanskrit for “female genitalia”), which came to be known as Tantric rites. The practice they cultivated was grounded in channeling one’s sexual energy through the body’s seven chakras (energy centers) and controlling sexuality in attaining euphoria. Exercises were passed down from one older woman to the next in nurturing women and honoring the female.
Never go to bed angry.
According to an Ohio State University study, couples who report having more conflict and quarrels on a regular basis have lower levels of an important healing protein at the site of wounds, and more of that protein coursing through their bloodstream right after an argument, which can be harmful to their health. These couples were also at higher risk for depression and age-related illnesses, like heart disease and arthritis. So it’s in your best interest to kiss and make up!