Balance your two major loves.
Yes, you love your kids, but hopefully you’re “in love” with your partner. But getting caught up in childrearing can have parents forgetting that they must put as much energy into nurturing their romantic relationship as they do raising their kids. Don’t let your union take backseat. After all, a happy couple makes for a happy family! So make sure that you’re seeking to meet your needs, your relationships’ needs, and those of your lover, while still managing to be a great mom or dad. Your children will benefit from seeing your prioritize your love and commitment. And giving yourselves some couple time will have you even more energized for quality time with your kids.
Be honest: can you really handle casual sex?
Between one-night stands on your fave TV programs, casual sex the theme of some recent movies, and friends with benefits the seeming trend of the last decade, many people think that they can and should get in on the action too. Yet casual sex isn’t for everyone. One’s value system or messages received about sex growing up can get in the way of being able to fully enjoy recreational encounters. Secretly wanting more than something casual is another factor that can have people realizing that sex outside of a relationship isn’t all that. Then there are factors, like the influence of the chemical dopamine, that can have people wanting more from a no-strings sex partner. When released, this love cocktail leaves lovers, especially women, wanting to bond more. So be honest with yourself in what you want and what you can handle in your sexual relationships.
Get in-sync first.
In transitioning from a busy workday to sensual sex, start foreplay by simply staring into each other’s eyes. Focus on your lover’s breath in getting more in-sync, slowing down the pace so that you can become more absorbed in the moment and each other. Tune into the sensations you’re experiencing, including the stillness or slow rhythm you’re relishing. As you start to incorporate titillating touch, maintain your connection by tuning into the emotional and spiritual feelings you’re experiencing. Share how powerful this experience was for you when it feels right to do so.
Counter low libido once and for all.
Everyone goes through funk periods where they’re simply too exhausted to do much of anything, including sex. But if your libido lags for weeks or months on end, don’t let it – and your self - suffer any longer. Get on top of why you’re not in the mood. Whether you’re dealing with too much stress, a health condition, relationship issues, hormonal problems… attend to your waning sex drive as you would anything else that has you down. Start by visiting your doctor for a full physical check up and to rule out any physiological factors at play. Be open about treating any issues at hand and the possibility that your doctor may want to refer you to a sex counselor or therapist if s/he can’t find any physical reasons for lack of desire.
Consider sex for pain relief.
People, understandably, will avoid sex if they’re in pain. Yet research has found that sex may be just the right medicine for conditions like menstrual cramps and back pain. This is in large part due to the release of endorphins during sexual activity. Endorphins give the body a natural high, resulting in benefits like well being, attachment and calm. Right before orgasm, levels of oxytocin, the "cuddle" hormone, surge up to five times their normal level. This releases endorphins, which alleviate any pain the person may be experiencing. Research has found that, during peak arousal, the brain's pain-killing center is activated, signaling the body to release endorphins. These chemicals, along with corticosteroids, help to temporarily numb pain due to many different causes.