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August Tips

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August Tips!

Remember that every day is Valentine's Day.

February 14th is just once a year, giving you 364 other days – and excuses – to woo your lover. Days that are especially noteworthy in doing something extra sweet include February 24th – the lover’s holiday in Romania known as Dragobete, when young men and women give each other snowdrops. March 12th is St. Gregory’s Day in Slovenia, a romantic day when birds are said to be married. Speaking of birds… St. Valentine’s Day falls on February 14th because that’s the day that birds supposedly began mating in England and France.

Know what you're looking for.

In discovering whether or not you or your lover has an erogenous G spot, first, know what you’re looking for. The G spot has typically been regarded as a small mass of spongy erectile nerve tissue, paraurethral ducts and glands, and blood vessels. It is located on the front (stomach side) wall of the vaginal canal, about two inches up from the vaginal opening. It is an erogenous zone that doesn’t lie directly on the wall, but can be felt through it.

Talk to your doc about your meds.

A number of medications can end up impacting one’s sex drive or desire to be intimate. Antidepressants, for example, can suppress one’s dopamine circuit, killing libido and impacting one’s ability to orgasm and truly bond with a lover. No matter what your meds are, be sure to talk to your physician if you feel that it could be having a negative impact on your love life.

Pay attention to your partner, not the porn.

While the many forms of erotica can turn lovers on, porn can become a problem if one partner indulges in it more than the other. The partner who isn’t into porn can feel sexually ignored or pressure to perform certain acts. Some may also feel insecure about their bodies, appearance, or sexual performance. So be sure to spend more time doting on your partner than playing around with porn, attending to any issues that may be stemming from your pastime. 

Get "it" out there.

When one of the partners is not satisfied with the sex life, s/he needs to be communicating as to the “why.” People aren't mind readers and nobody can fix the situation if they don't know what's wrong. Furthermore, instead of just being critical, the lover needs to have suggestions on how to get to a better place. They need to be careful not to place blame on one another. This is a team problem requiring a team solution.

Eat chocolate.

Research out of the U.K. found that this sweet causes a more intense and longer lasting “buzz” than kissing, which is able to double one’s heart rate.

Don't expect instant results.

With most erogenous zones, there is no hot button reaction. Take the G spot, for example. A woman needs to be aroused before her lover can even begin to explore her front wall and elicit sensations. During sexual arousal, her vaginal walls fill with blood, causing the outer one-third of her vaginal canal to swell. The urethral sponge, packed with erectile tissue, fills as it too, swells with blood. This is what causes it to bulge and become firm, becoming what we know as the oh-it-feels-so-good “G spot!”

Know what's at the heart of satisfying sexual adventures.

Sexologists are often asked: What are the main conditions that make it possible to have a satisfying sexual behavior? In exploring almost any type of “non-vanilla” or “kink” sexual activity, it’s best to feel good about the following:

a. you feel – and are - truly knowledgeable about the behavior
b. your sex life is defined by mutual pleasure & consent
c. you and your partner have a good level of trust in each other
d. you and your partner are effective communicators
e. you know what works for your body-mind-soul as far as pleasure

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